Tag Archive for Humour

Chuck Norris Facts: Bell invents phone misses Norris’ call

Alexander Graham Bell - Chuck Norris - telephone.

Chuck Norris Facts

Sharks brag about Chuck Norris bite scars.

Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris once had a bet with Superman, the loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris as a child ~ The Early Years. Broken Fence.

Chuck Norris as a child ~ The Early Years.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks under the bed for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet. The bear isn’t dead; it’s just too scared to move.

Chuck Norris played Rock, Paper, Scissors with a mirror and won.

Chuck Norris made a happy meal cry.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris has a third fist hidden in his beard.

Chuck Norris is the reason Wally is hiding.

When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he pushes the earth down.

Chuck Norris doesn’t get frostbite, Chuck Norris bites frost.

Alexander Graham Bell - Chuck Norris - telephone.

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Ghosts sit around fires telling Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris can split an atom with a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity… twice.

The Great Wall of China was built to keep Chuck Norris out.

Chuck Norris can hear lightning and see thunder.

If you say Freedom three times into a bald eagle, Chuck Norris will appear.

Chuck Norris and Abe Lincoln once had a rap battle to determine the fate of America.

Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language.

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards

Chuck Norris is so awesome he created fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars……he was the force.

More Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris smashed a mirror over a black cats head while standing under a ladder, then won the lottery

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris….the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

Graveyards originally had “Chuck Norris was here” signs but everyone knew that.

If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.

Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death, he beats it fair and square.

Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.

When Google has a question, they 'Chuck Norris' it.

When Google has a question, they ‘Norris’ it.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.

The Black Eyed Peas were originally named “The Peas”….until they met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet

Chuck Norris can turn Toast back into Bread.

Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck’s gas tank as a joke….that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Facts about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

There is no 'CTRL' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Noriris is always in control. Facts about Chuck Norris.

There is no ‘CTRL’ button on Chuck Norris’ computer. Chuck Noriris is always in control.

Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Seconds.

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

Charlie Sheen calls it ‘winning’. Winning calls it ‘Chuck Norris’.

Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick your cell phone and kill everyone in the address book

Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris’ goldfish.

Chuck Norris doesn’t age. He levels up

Chuck Norris does not have a middle name, nobody gets between Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

They once named a street after Chuck Norris, but they had to rename it because no one can cross Chuck Norris and live.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake…….. After three days of pain and agony ………………the rattle snake died

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris were to ever run out of ammo, his weapon would continue to fire out of fear of disappointing Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

When Graham Bell first invented telephone he had 2 missed calls from Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris knows the exact position and momentum of a particle. ALL OF THEM!

Chuck Norris knows the exact position and momentum of a particle. ALL OF THEM!

Chuck Norris The Film in 3D was actually banned after the first showing when a 3D roundhouse kick accidentally killed the entire audience

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

Giraffes did not exist……..until Chuck Norris upper-cut a horse.

Chuck Norris once arranged his M&M’s in alphabetical order.

People invented cars to get away from Chuck Norris, then they invented airplanes because they thought Chuck Norris couldn’t fly.

When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.

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